PILES of Compliments
Improve Relationships
Maximize Your Impact on Others
Overview
Giving a Compliment
A compliment is a true statement about something you admire in the other person. It benefits the person receiving the compliment and is a selfless act by the person giving it. I like to use the PILES acronym because it reminds me to give piles and piles of compliments every day. You know you’ve done it correctly when both of you feel the emotion behind the compliment. Here is the meaning of PILES:
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Positive. Be positive. Don’t talk about how bad they were before. Only speak about their current abilities.
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Inner. Focus on their inner qualities or abilities. These are more important and meaningful to the other person than external qualities.
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Look. If you give the compliment in person, then look into their eyes. If you want to give them something they can look at in the future, send them a letter or email.
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Evidence. Provide evidence to back up your compliment.
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Sincere. Be honest and sincere. Use your emotions.
Receiving a Compliment
When you receive a compliment, it’s important to thank the person. Let them know you appreciate them taking the time to deliver the compliment to you. If you would like, you can also tell them why their compliment means a lot to you at this time.
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It’s incredibly important that you don’t deny or negate their compliment in any way. It harms you because you are denying the truth about yourself. You don’t allow yourself to be seen in a positive light, and you continue to fuel your false fears and negativity. It can also be a negative experience for the other person and may deter them from trying to compliment you again. From an extreme perspective, you are basically telling them that they are either stupid or a liar. If you don’t understand their compliment, then you can always ask them to explain it to you.
Explore our solutions to learn more about PILES of Compliments and how we can help you transform your life.